It's not the terrible two's

We get this a lot "it's just a phase, he'll get over it" or "it's a case of the terrible two's." No, it's not a phase, no it's not a case of the terrible two's. My son's have Autism. My youngest son needs routine, he needs his daily life to be the same, and to be comfortable for him. H has a mild form of Aspergers, his is more just ticks, quirks, and the constant need for facts and information. X on the other hand having PDD-NOS has what the doctor described as a "moderate to severe" form of Autism. Each month, it progresses, the sensory issues heighten, the need for routine gets more set in stone. His limited vocabulary forces him to get frustrated often, scream, cry, melt down.

We can't just plan out to a T our day (except for therapy sessions). We can't plan out a trip and it happen the way we'd hope for it to. A lot of factors go into planning for a trip away from home, away from X's element. Pack his dinosaurs, his pillow, his lights, his radio, medication, milk, the foods he's currently okay with eating, pedisure for the days he refuses to eat, his iPad, tagless shirts, etc. The list goes on and on. I swear we pack everything but his bed. 

One thing that family and friends are having trouble realizing and understanding is that we can't just up and travel all over the state like you could with neurotypical children. When we get to where we're going, whether it be my parents house or my husband's mother's house, or even a friends house; we don't go out all over the place visiting every single person we know. It is more of a "if you want to see us, come see us." One huge challenge we've dealt with is the understanding we need people to have about this issue. We've made it a point to rotate houses of who we see, and even that seems to be a challenge and more like a stress fest. 

People who have not educated themselves about Autism, and what it entails don't understand the sensory issues. Lights are brighter, sounds are louder, crowded places become very overwhelming. All (or most) of their senses are heightened. A glitch in his daily routine is the end of the world for him. For my son, it's harder to process, becomes too much, and then a melt down begins. Do we enjoy hearing him scream and melt down? No. We try to create scenarios where he's comfortable and saves everyone's ears from ringing. We can't please everyone, we've tried, and it's exhausting, and at this point, we're done.

Now that we're moving farther away from family, trips back to Texas will be once a  year, if that. It's time for people to come see us if they really want to. It's time for the once or twice a month trips to Texas to end and be done with. 

For a better understanding to the routine that Xavier needs in his days, refer to this post. I hope then it sheds more light on this issue. We are in the process of moving from the south to the north, a car ride that will take about 3 to 4 days to complete. In this move, we're preparing ourselves for a massive amount of melt downs, but I don't think anyone can fully prepare for them. 

Halloween

As I sit for hours on end waiting for X's therapy sessions to end, I keep thinking "I need to blog about..." I decide to blog, get home, and life gets hectic. 

Yesterday at therapy the kids were able to wear their Halloween costumes. At first, X didn't want to wear his at all. We are still trying to get him to transition smoothly from the car, to therapy. It's still a battle, but I'm confident we will get there one day. As we were waiting for him to go back, a set of twins came in wearing their costumes. At that point, X looked at me and pointed to himself, I asked if he wanted to finally put his costume on and he nodded yes. We ran to the car, suited him up, and he came into the building roaring at everyone. He was the cutest dinosaur I've ever laid eyes on! 

During his sessions, the therapists took each child door to door of the other therapists to help them understand trick or treating. The center he goes do deals with special needs children, and doing this helps the children grasp a concept of what they'll be doing on Halloween night. I thought it was really neat and he seemed to have enjoyed it. 

H came home from school complaining of a sore throat and he felt pretty warm, but he sure was okay to go trick or treating! ;) For dinner we had sandwiches, fresh fruit, veggies, and hummus. Might as well start off the night with a healthy dinner before the candy raid begins. 

We got the children dressed and ready to go, we decided we'd check out the base chapel who held a trunk or treat. It turned out being a bust, so we opted to stay on the main part of base housing and trick or treat. After realizing that only 5 houses on one block was participating, we hurried back to the other side of base to let the kids trick or treat in our neighborhood where there were tons of houses participating. 

H and N had a blast going door to door. H is more reserved and with him not feeling well, he wasn't as talkative; wait I take that back... he told us everything he knew about each piece of candy he received. X on the other hand wanted nothing to do with trick or treating, not one bit. He decided to run the streets roaring as loud as his little voice would let him, not paying any mind to anyone near him. 

Usually we let the kids pick out about 15 pieces of candy, and then my husband takes the rest of it to work (we don't keep candy in our house). Since we kind of ate up time trying to get to a decent place for them to trick or treat, they each got around 20 pieces in their so we decided to just let them keep it. I also heard about a candy called UNREAL where it's all natural, no preservatives, no dyes, etc. so I figured after I get done at H's psychologist appointment I'd run by CVS and grab a few for X since he didn't get any.